急!四级快到了!求帮忙修改一篇四级英语作文吧!感激不尽!这是我写的一篇四级英语作文,求高人帮我看一下,帮我找出其中写错的地方和表达不够地道或准确的地方,总之就是找出你不满意的地

急!四级快到了!求帮忙修改一篇四级英语作文吧!感激不尽!这是我写的一篇四级英语作文,求高人帮我看一下,帮我找出其中写错的地方和表达不够地道或准确的地方,总之就是找出你不满意的地
急!四级快到了!求帮忙修改一篇四级英语作文吧!感激不尽!
这是我写的一篇四级英语作文,求高人帮我看一下,帮我找出其中写错的地方和表达不够地道或准确的地方,总之就是找出你不满意的地方就行了,然后再把你的写法写在下面给我参考就可以了!四级快到了!急啊,大家帮帮忙吧!感激不尽!
How to Discourage middle school students to buy lottery-tickets ?
Now people in growing number are coming to realize that there is a dramatic increase in the number of students who are crazy about buying lottery-tickets ,they take it for granted and even regard it as a fashionable current ,which has aroused common concern .
I think study is the main mission of middle school students ,buying lottery-tickets is bound to distract their attention from it ,which may leads to bad academic achievements and even pose threats to their further study and career development.Therefore ,It is an urgent thing that we put considerable emphasis on this phenomenon .
So as to settle this problem ,in my point of view ,parents can use various ways to lead their children to a common sense that diligence brings wealth rather than opportunism .Following this method may not guarantee the success in solving this problem ,but the pay-off will be worth the sweat we shed .
另外,我写的那个a fashionable current对否?（我想表达“一种时尚潮流”的意思）

急!四级快到了!求帮忙修改一篇四级英语作文吧!感激不尽!这是我写的一篇四级英语作文,求高人帮我看一下,帮我找出其中写错的地方和表达不够地道或准确的地方,总之就是找出你不满意的地
我的意见是这样的：
一种时尚潮流直接就 a fashion就行了
1.第二段最后一句 Therefore,it is urgent for us to attach great importance to this phenomenon.个人认为更好
貌似我没看出什么问题了.不过我看出你在表达某些东西的时候过分追求高级词汇.

四级考试结束了，优秀的作文也已经公布了
你看看吧
作文：http://hi.baidu.com/%C7%E0%C4%EA%C8%CB%D6%B0%D2%B5%BF%BC/blog/item/9981ce240c75ff1a908f9d30.html

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How to Discourage middle school students to buy lottery-tickets ？
Now people in growing number are becoming to realize that there is a dramatic increasing in the number of students who ar...

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试试看哦
How to Discourage middle school students to buy lottery-tickets ？
Now people in growing number are becoming to realize that there is a dramatic increasing in the number of students who are crazy about buying lottery-tickets ，they take it for granted and even regard it as a fashionable current ，which has aroused common concerns 。
I think study is the main mission of middle school students ，buying lottery-tickets is bound to distract their attention from it ，which may leads to bad academic achievements and even pose threats to their further study and career development。Therefore ,It is urged that we put considerable emphasis on this phenomenon 。
So as to this problem ，in my point of view ，parents can use various ways to lead their children to a common sense that diligence brings wealth rather than opportunities 。Following this method may not guarantee the success in solving this problem ，but the pay-off will be worth the sweat we shed 。
你写的还好的呵呵

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如何阻止中学生买lottery-tickets吗?
现在越来越多的人开始认识到有显著增加的学生人数是疯狂的买lottery-tickets,他们想当然,甚至把它作为一个时尚的电流,这已引起普遍关注。
我想学习的主要任务是中学生,买lottery-tickets一定会分散他们的注意力从它,这会导致不良的学术成就,甚至威胁到他们的进一步研究和事业编制,是一个亟待解决的事,我们花费了相当...

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如何阻止中学生买lottery-tickets吗?
现在越来越多的人开始认识到有显著增加的学生人数是疯狂的买lottery-tickets,他们想当然,甚至把它作为一个时尚的电流,这已引起普遍关注。
我想学习的主要任务是中学生,买lottery-tickets一定会分散他们的注意力从它,这会导致不良的学术成就,甚至威胁到他们的进一步研究和事业编制,是一个亟待解决的事,我们花费了相当大的精力这一现象。
为解决这一问题,在我看来,家长可以使用不同的方法来引导他们的孩子一个常识勤奋带来财富,而不是机会主义.Following这个方法可能不作任何担保成功解决这个问题,但是捆绑销售定价的盈利将值得汗水我们小屋。

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